Do you find yourself sitting at home, minding your own business and not saying a word to anyone? Well, if that’s the case, maybe you should think about changing that. The world is filled with people who are happy to talk, whether it’s about sports, politics, or their day-to-day lives. And guess what? They usually do so while having a drink in their hands. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not above having a few cocktails myself. But too many of them can be very intimidating, especially when you’re a complete neophyte and don’t know how to go about starting a conversation. So here are a few simple tips on how to approach women and start a conversation (or not).
Make it look easy
First, you’ll need to make it look easy. You don’t need to be a masterful conversationalist to do that; anyone can pick up the phone and start a conversation with a friend. But the more awkward you feel, the less likely you are to speak to anyone. So, in addition to sounding confident, try to make yourself appear as relaxed as possible. If you’re in a meeting or reading a text, place a hand on your stomach and lean back in your chair. When you’re not stressed about what’s happening in the room, you’re more likely to open up and start a conversation.
Don’t be afraid to smile.
A smile is one of the most influential looks you can give. It lets people know that you’re happy, content, and generally positive. It also allows people to sense that you’re trustworthy, which can further enhance your newfound friendliness. So whenever you’re feeling shy, smile and wave to the person you’re talking to. This can open up the floodgates, allowing you to begin a conversation with a range of different people.
It’s ok to be nervous.
As mentioned above, you’ll feel a bit nervous when starting a conversation with someone. That’s perfectly reasonable; after all, you don’t know the person and have no reason to start talking to them. But try not to let it show. You may want to smile and wave from afar, but don’t make any sudden movements that could startle the person or cause them to think you’re up to something. If you do feel a bit nervous, try not to show it by talking too fast or biting your nails. Take a few deep breaths and compose yourself before making any sudden movements towards your new friend.
Don’t be afraid of rejection.
If you want more attention from people around you, there are going to be times when they’re just not interested in what you have to say. If a woman is reading her Kindle at Starbucks, don’t bother trying to start up a conversation with her about the latest Nicholas Sparks novel. You’ll look like an idiot for trying too hard (which is never a good thing). And if someone does reject your advances, don’t take it personally; they might be busy with work or their friends and don’t want another person distracting them at that moment. It’s nothing personal! Just try again later with someone else!
Try to be you
You’re probably thinking: “But I don’t know anyone like that!” Well, guess what? You don’t have to. The internet is a vast sea of strangers, and the more distant you are from anyone, the less likely it is that you’ll run into anyone you know. But that’s not a reason to not try. The internet is full of people who are interested in meeting new people and making new friends. You can start by searching for local meet-ups in your area. You can also check out this list of dating and meet-up groups in Edmonton.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
If you want to ask a girl out on a date, the most important thing you can do is ask her out on a date. And don’t be afraid to ask her out on a date a few times, even if she says no. Even if she tells you it isn’t “your thing,” don’t assume that just because she isn’t interested in going out with you that she’s “not interested in guys either.” If you keep asking her out, she’ll eventually start to enjoy herself and feel more comfortable being around you. If you want to be super cautious and have her phone number in case she ever is interested in going out with you, go for it. But don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
Another important rule when it comes to starting conversations with women is to be direct. If you want to go out for dinner, but she doesn’t want to go out with you, say so. You don’t have to grovel or beg, but be direct with what you want. If you want to go for a walk after dinner, be specific about what you want to do. You don’t have to walk around with a glowing heart, but just saying that you want to walk around and think about what happened “today” is enough. If you want to go to the movies after dinner, be specific about what you want to do. And so on. When you’re upfront and direct, it lets people know that you’re confident, self-assured, and in control of your needs.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
Finally, when it comes to asking for what you need, women are super generous. Whether you want a date or a friend, women will always ask for what they need. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for what you need, don’t feel bad if you don’t. You don’t have to ask for money, but if you ever want to pay for something, be specific about what it is you want to do so that the person you’re asking knows what you want. If you ever miss a bill or an event, be specific about what you need so that you don’t waste anyone’s time. You don’t have to be a mind-reader, but you do need to be aware of the defaults so that you don’t waste people’s time.
Now that you know how to approach girls and start a conversation, the next step is to use those opportunities to make new friends. Suppose you’re an outcast in school or have never had the chance to socialise outside of your family; try to make time for friends. Suppose you’re in a group of people who don’t always socialise, join a club or organisation that matches your interests and lets you interact with other people like you. Spend time with the people who make you feel content and happy. Make time for your hobbies and interests, and when you have the chance, start making new friends. The more contact you have with people, the easier it will be for you to create a conversation with anyone.