It is a common misconception that what break down a strong relationship are a few big blows. According to several divorce lawyers, things are much more complicated than that. The issues lay in the many small red flags people do not pay enough attention to. This is especially true for online relationships, be aware of scams!
Eventually, these red flags start eating away at the relationship´s foundation, and as a result, it falls apart. So, to make sure your relationship stays healthy and that your behavior does not undermine its well-being, you need to pay attention to the following:
- Attempts to Convince Others
Do you spend a lot of time trying to show everyone that your relationship is going well? Do you often find yourself defensive about your partner or having to prove that your long distance relationship is a real one? The need to convince others is a sign of insecurity. Those who are truly content, do not need external approval.
The most common way this insecurity manifests nowadays is through social media. There, people work the hardest to display only the positive sides of their relationship. Things don´t always go well, and if you see someone who constantly tries to leave that impression, you know that something is up.
- Comparing Your Relationship
Comparing is an issue that haunts many couples, and social media is not making things any easier. As mentioned before, social media is full of people pretending that everything is perfect. If you happen to be the least bit insecure about how you two are as a couple, comparing yourself to others will exacerbate things quickly.
Instead of falling into this trap that creates false expectations, focus on your own relationship. Celebrate the things that are going well and work on those that are not.
- Spending Too Much Time Online
Studies have shown that smartphones can have a harmful effect on a relationship. It’s already complicated in regular relationships, imagine what it might be like for a long distance couple! It’s important to understant that most people feel uncomfortable when they are talking to someone who is constantly checking their phone at the same time.
Smartphone overuse is a major bone of contention and should not go unnoticed. If you notice your partner is spending too much time checking their phone during your video calls, you need to speak up. If your partner comes to you with the same problem, take it seriously and try to cut back on your social media use.
Make Use of the Red Flags
Red flags help guide our attention to potential issues in our relationship by pointing out that something needs questioning. Questioning and evaluating are processes that should begin at the very start of your relationship. By taking the time to analyze it, you have the opportunity to fix problems before they grow too big.